Me? Perfect??

I was reading on a couple of other blogs tonight about being perfect. I so can relate to those people who have written about it. This thing we call parenthood is difficult and I so wish someone had a manual to give out when you have children, it would make it so much easier.

I have my doubts about a lot of things. Like am I a good wife?? Am I doing the right thing by my children?? Is Sam going to get better? Why doesn't that damn pile of laundry go away EVER?? I could go on and on and on.............you get the picture.

I really don't have any friends that I can confide in. I have a hard time making friends, I don't know why but I do. And the friends I do have seem to think that I'm all put together and have the best of things. I DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just know how to hide things and I hide them well.

We all have problems with this and that and I get that. I just want someone to listen to me and not judge me or make the problems I have seem less than what they really are. It's hard to talk about these things with my husband because he has his own stressors and I don't want to make him miserable. Plus the things that are bothering me, they are bothering him too and neither one of us know how to fix it at the moment.

I wish someone could come to my house and clean it, do the laundry (and I mean ALL of it) and make dinner. But the reality of it is, it's up to me. I know I'm not perfect and sometimes I feel like I have to keep up with the Jones' but again reality sets in and I know I fail miserably.

There are things that I can do or in control of and those are the 3 kids I brought into this world and to me, they are perfect. I can love my husband to no end and to me that's perfect and I know (even though he doesn't say it much) that he loves me and that's perfect.

Everything else will just have to be the way it is until I can get around to it.

Kelly

Random Thoughts

Here it is, almost 4 pm in Wisconsin and my mind is wandering. So the following are things that are floating in my head and stressing me out (what else is new right??)

-waiting for primary doctor to call back and advise me what to do about Sam and school
-not knowing why Sam is getting migraines
-how far behind is he really?
-hoping the online mortgage payment goes through tonight
-wondering why DH doesn't want to go to the pediatric neurologist appointment with me
-wondering if I'm homeschooling Nathan properly, I feel that I am, but again it's early in the year
-when is bedtime for me?
-why is the Advil I took for the stress headache not working?
-is Sam ever going to get better?
-is the dishwasher ever going to get emptied?
-am I ever going to catch up on laundry?
-why am I not more organized?
-where is "me" time or is that an impossible dream?
- crap, I forgot about dinner. Take out pizza it is
-Nichole is mad at me because Sam took sick days this week.
-does DH even care about my concerns anymore?

I need a vacation or some answers pretty damn quick. I cannot take this much longer, I'm going to burst.

Kelly

It's my birthday today!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

I'm not sure if I should be happy or not. It's not like I turned 40 this year (that's next year), I'm 39 today. I should be happy that I have a wonderful husband, kids, mom and bunch of extended family. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for that. It's such a weird feeling. I got this way before my 30th birthday too. Maybe it's the fact that I'm getting older and hopefully wiser. Maybe it's because I miss my dad and he's not here to celebrate with me. I dunno. All I know is that I'm grateful that God let me wake up today to celebrate another birthday (or the anniversary of my birth as my dad would say).

Whatever the day brings, I'm happy.
So...........
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hugs,
Kelly

A new school year about to begin!!

Well here it is, August 25th and some one rude reminded me that Christmas is 4 months away. Yuck!! I don't even want to hear about Christmas until AFTER my husband's birthday in early November. Pet peeve of mine

Anyways, school is about to start. It starts Sept 1 for Sam and Nichole and the 17th for Nathan. Why the delay with Nathan you ask? I'm homeschooling him and I haven't gotten all his supplies ordered and the ones I do have ordered are on backorder until about that time. But I've got him writing a report on a subject for one of his chapters in Social Studies, so I am doing something.

Sam is excited to go back to school. This year he gets to wear an I.D. and play the cello. Nichole just wants something to do. She will be a junior this year and she can't wait. I'm glad to see some of my kids excited about school, I just wish Nathan was more into it. Maybe he will as we start this new adventure in our lives. And I hope it works out for the better. I don't want Nathan going through what he went through last year ever again and if this is the way we teach him, then so be it. I can do this, I know I can and I will succeed!!!!!!!!!!!!

The above picture is what I think I will use for Christmas pictures (unless a better one is taken at my nephew's wedding on Saturday.) this year. I just wish that the boys were actually smiling with teeth, not this crap that they are pulling. Oh well, I tried. I also got to use Nichole's fancy camera. It's cool. I'm beginning to think that I need one. Nah, I'll just borrow hers when I want "nice" pictures.

Hugs
Kelly

Nichole...my artist

This is my daughter, Nichole and she was at her aunt's house painting for a charity project in Door County. I'm really proud of what she has accomplished in the few years that she has been concentrating on art and photography. One of her pictures she took for a class this past year is being shown at the State Fair in the Expo Hall. She didn't win a thing for the picture, but I'm proud none-the-less.

Thought I would share her in "action", rather than just tell you about it.

Kelly

August already??

I cannot believe that it's August already. Where in the world did the summer go? I for one, will be happy to see the upper 80's and lower 90's leave and take the darn humidity with it. Today is beautiful, a little cloudy, but temps are nice and humidity is lower. My type of weather.

The State Fair has started and my daughter Nichole is working for the first time at the fair. I'm not sure what she's doing but when she came home last night, she went straight to bed and I talked a little to her this morning and she was still tired (and a bit sunburned). I haven't heard from her yet today so I assume that all is well. I cannot believe my kid is old enough to earn her own paycheck.

I also registered 2 out of 3 kids for school. They suck you dry of money I tell ya. Now all they have to have done is their pictures and get their schedules and that's it. School starts Sept 1, so does Nathan's homeschooling. I'm just glad we didn't have to put the registration fees on a credit card this year. It's sucky when we have to do that.

I've lost my stitching mojo. I'm not sure where it went or when it went but it's gone. I'm tempted to sell my stitching patterns but I know better. It will be back (I hope!) So for right now, I'm concentrating on school and reading fun books in my spare time. I also hope to take Christmas card pictures with Nichole's very expensive camera that I bought her. I'll post those pictures when I take them. It won't be anytime real soon, as I promised Nichole that we would do them AFTER she was done with the fair (August 15th).

Have to run and stop a fight in progress.
Hugs
Kelly

I'm still here. It's been hot and yucky out for the last week or so, so I've been stitching away at a exchange project and nope I cannot show you until she's received it. But it's a BlackBird Designs stocking that I stitched, boy do those stitch up fast!! I just might have to do another one for myself before too long.

School is going well. I hate Ethics class. I can't wait until it's over but my other class is fun. I get to put my computer knowledge to work finally so it's fun. I just wish Ethics was fun, don't get me wrong it's informative, but a bit boring and such. I'm trying my best and I guess that's all I can ask for these days.

Everyone is doing well. The kids just got back from Door County where they had a blast! And some how I got pink eye while they were gone and it's not going away!! If it doesn't go away soon, I'll have to visit my doctor (oh goodie! NOT!)

Otherwise, everything is good. Same ole stuff different day. I better run as Sam wants the computer to play games on again. Typical 10 year old if you ask me.

Talk to ya soon
Hugs
Kelly