Sunday, February 27, 2011

Long time ago

in a far away place.... just kidding!!

Here are my kids. This picture was taken in the front yard of our previous home. Sam was about 18 months old and he will be 11 in a month, so you can tell how long ago this was taken. Nichole hasn't had hair that long since....well.. it's a long time :)

Yes it's fall in the picture but the sun is out and the grass is green!!! grass....I know it will come someday, hopefully soon!!
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Saturday, February 26, 2011

Snow Snow Everywhere!!

As you can clearly see, we got a bunch of snow lately. First it all melted, then we got dumped with this!! It looks pretty at first and now it's just a pain in the tush. I want Spring.

Enjoy the pictures!
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Friday, February 4, 2011

Depression SUCKS!

Now before I even start talking about this, I want you to know a couple of things.
1. I have been on every medication known to man and most of them don't work.
2. I have a supportive family.
3. I'm open about my depression with people esp. my kids.

Now with that being said.  It has been a rough time here.  I've been constantly sick since November 4 or 5th with celluitis (a skin infection), been on numerous rounds of steriods, antibiotics, pain killers, anti-nausea medication.  Throw a trip to the Emergency Room and that's been my life.  Not to mention that Sam is sick (and has been consistantly for almost a year now), Nathan is having trouble with school and kids being nasty to him, finances ( I need to say more??).

It's no wonder I'm slipping into this depressive funk.  The sun doesn't help, I need more than one night of "good" sleep, not sure if my depression medication is working because I'm so tired, frustrated, miserable.  I've lost interest in things that used to bring be joy and have a hard time getting my thoughts together to explain to people what is going on with me.

I have people ask me "what do you have to be depressed about?" It's not that at all and it's not that simple.  I used to have this thing under control for a long time and now it's time I say, "Please Help ME!"

I need help with everyday things. The kids don't help like they should or they give me excuses why they don't "have" to and it's my job to get them done. Sucks.  I, repeatedly, ask husband to do ONE simple thing (and that is to change cat litter boxes so I don't get re-infected again) and it doesn't get done.  The older kids won't do it.."'s yucky" is what I get. OH and forget about laundry.  That is hopeless. Middle child doesn't even want to learn to sort laundry let alone do it.  He does get the stuff out of the dryer and bring up the baskets (IF I remind him!)

I'm tired, overwhelmed, sacred, frustrated and so on.  People just don't get it.  Depression can suck the life out of you, yet I do all this crap around the house and everyone else does nothing. I just don't get it.

There is one thing though that I know I can look forward to just about everynight.  It's my Siamese buddy Leo, who comes up on my bed and snuggles with me. And somehow things seem better just by him being there.  

My buddy Leo. Cute huh??