The last few years I was "friends" with someone who I thought was a friend. Sadly, his true colors emerged and he was nothing like the person I once knew. His wife contacted me almost 3 1/2 years ago. Yes, you read that correctly - HIS WIFE. What wife does that? What wife contacts a woman who her husband once had a romantic relationship with? I would never EVER contact my significant other's past anything because if he wanted to contact them - he can do it.
Over those years, I saw things I didn't think were actually possible. I heard things spewing from his mouth that I didn't think men actually said to his children let alone his wife. The lies he told to me were unreal, the bullshit coming from his mouth about things in general were nonsense, the drama he causes was (fill in the blank).
So the things I've learned are as follows:
1. I deserve SO much more than he can ever give me.
2. I deserve NOT to be verbally abused.
3. I deserve NOT to be emotionally abused in any way.
4. I'm NOT the plague. And yes, I will hold this over his head until the day I die. He promised he would never make fun of me - well he did. Liar.
5. Last time I checked, hitting your kids or your wife (which I witnessed both) were not in the bible and God does NOT condone. So please knock that shit off.
6. My children (who are not his) don't need to hear this crap from your mouth.
7. His wife and him can lie in court and get away with it. He threatened my life as well as my kids and he got off with NOTHING. While I have to deal with that in my head. Nice huh?
8. I'm much better off with out you or your wife in my life. I feel sorry for your children and grand baby as they will have to deal with the consequences of your actions for the rest of their lives. If you think they don't...YOU'RE WRONG.
9. If your gut tells you it's wrong. It is wrong.
10. If you feel authorities should be involved, involve them. The WORST thing they can say is that nothing happened or in their case...they can lie to the authorities.
11. Once a cheater and an abuser....always an cheater and an abuser. Nothing in this world will change my mind.
In the end, I will not contact them anymore...they aren't worth my time, energy or anything. I would rather have one or two people I can truly talk to than people who talk bullshit behind my back. That's not a friendship of any kind. Plus NO MAN is worth any kind of abuse. If he can't keep it in his pants - he will never keep it in his pants, if the words hurt you - he knows it and will continue to do so. Please don't tell me that mental illness caused him to do this. No, not an excuse.