Monday, November 10, 2014

Things I have learned in the past year -

Over the past year, I have been through hell and back and I think there has been a little time for me to look back and realize a few things.

The last few years I was "friends" with someone who I thought was a friend. Sadly, his true colors emerged and he was nothing like the person I once knew. His wife contacted me almost 3 1/2 years ago. Yes, you read that correctly - HIS WIFE. What wife does that? What wife contacts a woman who her husband once had a romantic relationship with? I would never EVER contact my significant other's past anything because if he wanted to contact them - he can do it. 

Over those years, I saw things I didn't think were actually possible. I heard things spewing from his mouth that I didn't think men actually said to his children let alone his wife.  The lies he told to me were unreal, the bullshit coming from his mouth about things in general were nonsense, the drama he causes was (fill in the blank). 

So the things I've learned are as follows:

1. I deserve SO much more than he can ever give me. 

2. I deserve NOT to be verbally abused.

3. I deserve NOT to be emotionally abused in any way.

4. I'm NOT the plague. And yes, I will hold this over his head until the day I die. He promised he would never make fun of me - well he did. Liar.

5. Last time I checked, hitting your kids or your wife (which I witnessed both) were not in the bible and God does NOT condone. So please knock that shit off.

6. My children (who are not his) don't need to hear this crap from your mouth. 

7. His wife and him can lie in court and get away with it. He threatened my life as well as my kids and he got off with NOTHING. While I have to deal with that in my head. Nice huh?

8. I'm much better off with out you or your wife in my life. I feel sorry for your children and grand baby as they will have to deal with the consequences of your actions for the rest of their lives. If you think they don't...YOU'RE WRONG.

9. If your gut tells you it's wrong. It is wrong.

10. If you feel authorities should be involved, involve them. The WORST thing they can say is that nothing happened or in their case...they can lie to the authorities.  

11. Once a cheater and an abuser....always an cheater and an abuser. Nothing in this world will change my mind. 

In the end, I will not contact them anymore...they aren't worth my time, energy or anything. I would rather have one or two people I can truly talk to than people who talk bullshit behind my back. That's not a friendship of any kind.  Plus NO MAN is worth any kind of abuse.  If he can't keep it in his pants - he will never keep it in his pants, if the words hurt you - he knows it and will continue to do so. Please don't tell me that mental illness caused him to do this. No, not an excuse. 

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

WOW it's been a LONG time since I posted anything on here.

Hi there!! Lots of things have happened in my life but I'll get into that another time. There has been something on my mind and I have no place to "vent" this out. So why not here.... here we go........... Over the years I've had friends (who are no longer friends) tell me that I don't know "How to be a friend" and they get "rid" of me as a friend. I don't get that. NOW, I have a family member tell me that I don't know "what family means or how to be part of a family". Interesting....I don't understand that either. I value friendships like nothing else in this world because I don't have many friends and I'm not entirely sure why either. If it's my skin..get over it. I've had this skin thing for 42 years now and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. If it's because I speak my mind... well, I was given a brain shouldn't I use it? I hate being the one who should sit in a corner and behave and not say a word. And if I'm wrong about something, I fully admit it and learn from it. I'm not that way. As far as family goes, to me, it goes something like this: You have your family you were born into and the people you let into your life who mean the world to you. In my case, I have my mom (who I love dearly), my dad (who is up in heaven among the stars), my kids and aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. Then there are a few people who I call family even though they are not blood related. My best friend in the world Ray and his family - they have seen me go through a ton of crap in the last 12-18 months or so and I couldn't have gotten through it without them. My buddies Lisa, Dawn and Tracie - love them!!!! Enough said. I'm not happy with a certain family member treating me like I'm 2 and telling me that when I decide to apologize maybe, just maybe, she'll let me in her life again. I'm sorry, family just doesn't do that. Kelly

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Miscellaneous Stuff

Here it is September 1 and I'm REALLY behind on my blog once again. I'm sorry.  Too many things are happening again.

1. I turned 41 at the end of August.
2. Sam is getting ready to go back to school but in a completely different district.
3. Went on vacation and had a fabulous time.

Then my life got turned upside down.

My mom had a moderate stroke on August 27th.  She was in this coma-like state for about 2 days. I'm still not sure she completely knows who I am but she smiles when I walk in the room and I'll take it.  I'll take anything at this point.

It's very scary to say the least. Decisions have to be made and I'm the one to make them for her. She cannot speak and most of the time she will answer "yes" to anything.  She also has to relearn how to swallow again. Found out yesterday that she still loves her sugar cookies. 

I do have a support system for myself and mom but right now I'm exhausted to no end.  Simple things around the house take forever and a day to complete.  But I have to be strong for mom and my kids.  

It's been a LONG week and it's going to be a long road ahead of us for quite sometime. Prognosis? Still too early to tell. Will she ever be able to go back to her own house again? Not sure. I hate the unknown it bothers me.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Hi guys,

Well it's almost the end of June and a bunch of things have happened lately. 

First, Nichole graduated High School a few weeks ago.  She's beyond happy to be done with High School and frankly, I am too.  It still amazes me that I have gotten my first child through all 12 years of school plus the fact she's an adult (in age alone mind you. LOL).  Right now she is enjoying babysitting the neighbor kids while she is looking for a job.

There she is, all grown up (sort of speak). She cannot wait to get on with her life (as she says, not me by any means).

While the above was happening, I was also trying to take care of my mom who has been in and out of the hospital about 6 times since January.  She had some heart issues that have been taken care of (hopefully for good) and she is also an insulin-dependent diabetic.  My dad was as well so I know what is in store for her. 

Other than that, not much has been going on. I've driving a ton lately just going back and forth to my mom's and I'm really thinking hard about moving closer to her. Homeschooling the boys has ended for the most part for the summer. Sam is partially enrolled in a normal school for the fall and he's excited about it. He will try once again to see if he can tolerate the regular school setting, if not, it's back to homeschooling him once again.

Gotta run..

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


Hi guys!

Now if you know me, either in real life or via this blog, you will know that I LOVE LOVE The Bee Gees.  I was incredibly sad when Andy passed away back in the late 80's, almost devastated when Maurice passed away (I was just coming off a couple of personal losses at the time and little did I know what was in store for me in the coming months of 2003) and now Robin has passed away.  

I get that these music icons do pass away but seriously at 62?? Cancer is rude and cruel. So in my usual way, I'm going to stick a YouTube video of MY favorite Bee Gee song.  Enjoy!

Hopefully I will begin to blog more again. Tons of stuff happening lately. 


Monday, April 16, 2012

I'm Back....

So it's the middle of April and Easter has come and gone. Not that I celebrate Easter or anything but it is what it is.

Where have I been?

I've been here, busy, but here.  Let's see - the anniversary of my father's passing has come and gone and I got through it for the first time without tears. Yeah me!  And now that Spring Break is officially over for my kids, it's back to Nichole trying to get through the last 6-8 week of school. Then it's her graduation from High School.  Back to me homeschooling the boys. Keeping an eye on my mom.  Getting the last little details in place so my divorce can be final soon. Saving money left and right so I can move when I'm told to by the court. Lots and lots of other little things that seem to take up a huge amount of my time lately.

In the middle of this, I found (well, Nathan did..ahem..) a cute YouTube video. It's called Simon's Cat. Wanna see? I know you do....

Now, anyone with more than one cat can relate.  It describes my house perfectly when we brought Sheba home almost 2 years ago.  I love this!!!

Can we also mourn the loss of Davy Jones?  (insert moment of silence)

Ok, now The Monkees were HUGE in the 60's (I wasn't even a thought. hmm..) and then they came back in the 80's (high school time for me). I even went to a concert at the Marcus Amplitheater way back when.  I don't have pictures of it available. But I can stick a YouTube video in for fun.  

The ending stuff back then.....

I hope to be back to posting soon.  I also hope my life settles down a little bit more so I can blog.
Talk to you soon

Sunday, February 19, 2012

General stuff...

So February is almost over.  Valentines Day has come and gone (not that I'm a huge believer in this holiday but still).  Kids for the most part are healthy.  Nichole is wishing that graduation would get here already. Me? Not so much, that just means she's going to leave the nest and I'm not so sure I'm ready for that one.  Mixed emotions to say the least.

We all know that Whitney Houston passed away.  I'm sad about that for the sole reason that she had a beautiful voice.  I could care LESS about her addictions, problems with her ex, etc. It's her voice that I will miss.  My whole high school years were basically based on her voice and songs.  Not that I want to go back to high school (nope - never again) but those songs were the soundtrack of those years.  

While I was digging around on YouTube - I came across this song:

 So as I go through this crappy divorce and get my life back in order - this song has been a great help.  Am I getting sappy for these kinds of songs? Maybe. But they help me. And right now I'll take any and all help I can get.

I hope to get back to blogging on a regular basis soon.  It helps me sort out emotions and junk like that.  

Enjoy the video.