Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Do you believe?

In God?

Do you believe in your own God or do you follow a particular religion?

For my whole childhood, I had parents of different religions. My dad was Lutheran and my mom is Catholic. I think I was baptized in the hospital when I was a couple of hours old as they didn't know if I would make it or not. I never had to go to religion classes, confirmation or anything of the like. I would occassionally go to church with my friend if I had spent the night with them, or with my aunt and uncle if I was staying with them. But unless it was a wedding or a funeral, my parents didn't take me to church. Nor did they force religion on me as a child. They always told me that I could decide, for myself, what religion I wanted to be associated with and when.

I didn't get married in a church, quite the opposite. I got married in my sister-in-law's house by a court commissioner right before Christmas of 1992. DH and I were going to run away and get married as we couldn't afford a wedding, but family (mostly his) got wind of this and offered to host a small wedding. So we did that instead, glad they suggested it.

When DH and I had our daughter, we were asked if we were going to baptize her. DH and I decided that we wouldn't. And not for the reasons you are expecting. There was SO much red-tape to go through since I didn't "belong" to a "certain" religion, I would have to have taken some kind of classes and such. All that for someone to bless her?? I didn't want that and DH was agreeable to that. So, none of our 3 children are baptized as of now. I've always told the kids that it was their choice to associate with the church and that NO ONE should influence your decision and whatever that decision is, so be it.

Years later, I found myself with 2 sick parents. My dad and my father-in-law. For some reason, I prayed for their health and well-being. I prayed a lot. But in the end, God decided that their time was done on this earth and took them home. Today is the 8th anniversary of my father-in-law's passing. And I miss him. He would have been 89 years old. We all miss him. But part of me wonders if I had prayed harder, longer, used bigger words, would they still be here?

Recently, if you been reading my blog, know that I've been sick. And I mean sick. Almost, let's admit Kelly into the hospital sick. It took me almost 8 weeks to get better and I'm left wondering - did those prayers that my husband's family work? and if so, why did it take me so long to get better??

So, do you believe in the power of prayer? a higher power than your own?

Think about it.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Do you ever.........

wonder if God is giving you more than you can handle at any given time?

This has been a very frustrating, tiring, and exhausting year for us.

First it was the whole bullying and depression issues that my middle child was experiencing resulting in counseling and removing him from school to homeschool him. It was a hard decision to homeschool him but in the long run it turned out for the best. He's learning better and faster than if he was in school. He's talking about returning to the school system next fall for high school. I hope he goes. I think it would be a good thing.

Then it was Sam and him being sick. This fall we finally got a diagnosis of Daily Chronic Headaches. Good thing right? You would think so. But Sam isn't responding to treatment so with that being said, we are going to have additional tests and possibly new medication to try.

The school is being stupid about Sam and his health situation. Now, since the school nurse and psychologist looked at his medical records, seem to think that Sam is depressed. I don't know what to think about this. His doctor has told me time and time again that Sam isn't depressed and now the school personnel think he is?? My children know about my depression as I'm very open about it and don't want them to think anything bad of me. But really, NOW they are FIRST mentioning that MAYBE Sam is depressed???

I had to temporarily drop out of school. It was a hard decision to make but a necessary one. I'm also rethinking about my major. I'm not real confident in the web design industry and don't know what the job prospects would be when I finish the school work. I don't know what I want to study now. And for now, I'm letting it go.

Then I was incredibly sick for almost 7 weeks. I had 3 rounds of antibiotics, 2 full courses of steroids, pain killers and anti-nausea medication. Also, throw in a trip to the Emergency Room for good measure and you got my life. Exciting isn't it??

There also seems to be the lack of money lately. I don't know where we went wrong or if we did, but there isn't enough money lately to make all the bills. That sucks big time. With that being said, Christmas is going to be just a regular day for us. Yes there will be something for the kids to open on the morning of and yes there will be a dinner in which my mom will come over for, but other than that, nothing is going to be different. Just not in the Christmas mood. Oh how I wish for my dad to be here to give me some words of wisdom.

With all that has/is happening in the family, do you understand the first line of this blog-post??