Christmas time huh?

So I've been seeing Christmas this and Christmas that since the middle of October.  And frankly I'm sick of seeing it.  This has been a very long and hellish year for me and my kids and I just want the new year to start already.

Christmas had always been my favorite holiday (besides Halloween esp. for the candy). My dad would go and get the fake tree from the attic space in the house one day and slowly over the next week or so, a Christmas tree would magically appear.  My parents and I would put up the ornaments and remember where we got them or who gave them (usually to me), etc.  I always got to open the Christmas cards that would show up in the mail, etc.  One year, my now 18 year old daughter, put the fake candy garland in her mouth.  It was funny...

I even got married right before Christmas, why? not sure..but I did. We kept on forgetting every year because of the holiday so we usually celebrated (if we did at all) in June. Do I recommend people get married RIGHT BEFORE Christmas? NO but it's really up to you.  If I had to do it over again, I would certainly pick a day in June or some NICE month. 

Over the years, babies were born, relatives passed away and so on.  My father-in-law passed away on December 15, 2002. So needless to say, that Christmas was weird.  It seemed like every Christmas season someone in the house was sick and I didn't go to the in-law Christmas. Which was fine, because I always feel out of place there. I don't know why, I just do. 

Then my dad passed away in 2003. Since then I haven't been able to fully enjoy any holiday, especially Christmas.  I don't know why I can't shake this but it is what it is.  This year is beyond strange. I filed for divorce, he's still living here, kids are confused beyond all belief, and I'm basically living in the finished basement (which I should not have to but I do)

Things just don't feel Christmas-y around here....